Inside My Own Private Idaho

I never thought I'd be able to have children. We tried for years. I brought it up with my OB/GYN and he put me on Clomid for months - months longer than you were supposed to be on it. The test was negative every month. He told me about a fertility Doc in town - but I knew we could never afford that. Then I read a story in the paper about the Doc. And then this lady at work who was over 40 and pregnant told me that she had gone to him. Much to my surprise - a lot of the procedures and tests were covered by my insurance. The fertility Doc told me they try it 6 times before they give up. It took 5 rounds - 5 stressful, emotional, depressing rounds of treatments - over about 8 months - to finally get the phone call telling me that I was indeed finally pregnant. We had our baby boy almost 7 years ago. It only took us 2 rounds of treatments to get pregnant with my daughter almost 5 years ago. When I was in the hospital after having my son, the 40-year old pregnant lady (and her baby girl) came to see me and brought me a cute little boy outfit and the book "Love You Forever" by Robert Munsch. I cried the first time I read it - and I get teary reading it still today. One of my mommy/kid things has been singing the song to my kids - when we're alone together: I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, as long as I'm living, my baby you'll be. It's just precious.

I bought this new Basic Grey DP at my LSS last week and I've been thinking - does it have to be for Valentine's Day? I decided that it didn't. And then I thought perhaps I could use it for a baby card sometime. And then yesterday - my son got 100% on his pre-spelling test (teacher gives them their words on Monday and does a quiz to see if they know any of them - and he got them all correct yesterday even though the real test isn't until Friday) and my daughter spent the day at my mother's because she's sick - again. Just a cold...lotsa boogers and those red, watery eyes - nothing too bad, but, just decided to keep her home. So I thought you know what, I make cards for friends and family and people I don't even know, I'm going to use this sweet paper and make them each a card - one will go in D's backpack this morning and one will go in K's "going to grandma's" bag today too.

I'm getting teary now as I write this - I work, my husband works, we try to be good parents, raise smart, grounded, faith-filled children but sometimes you know, it's hard; sometimes you lose your cool. I kiss my kids when I leave in the morning...I kiss them when they go to bed...I love cuddling with them on the weekends - that's probably my most favorite thing to do in this world. I always tell D that I love him and he says "I love you more..." - which is completely impossible.

*sigh*

Here's their cards - (the inside is the Love You Forever sentiment you see above).

I love my babies.